Reinventing Carrie

What’s the story behind your nickname?

When you suffer a major loss whether it’s a death, divorce or illness you go through a period of mourning. For me I lost who I was, it’s been 2 years with new devastating medical issues and more loss of the woman I once was. As women we have a process that I think is very different from men. Men tend to resist change so they can have a harder time with more serious losses. Women tend to jump in with both feet. It’s not that we necessarily get over the grief faster, it’s that we approach it differently.

When women are ready to get back to living, when we get sick and tired of being sick and tired, we go on a mission to reinvent ourselves. We run to the salon and change our hair to jump start this new chapter. Then it’s on to makeup and clothes, if I look good I feel good. If I look good, feel good about myself then I can trick myself (sometimes) and others into thinking I’m ok. After all we know perception is reality.

Next we change our surroundings, I went through my house and my closet and asked myself does this give me joy? After my last big loss I completely overhauled my home. Everything had to go, I needed a real jump start. I created a secret garden, that we affectionately call the tea room. I have these great oversized chairs, a whimsical lamp, all my books (yes I still like the feel of books) and on display a silk custom made dress I got in Venice.

I created rituals, like my tea room. I have a special tea set, so I brew whatever I’m in the mood for or still have left in the cupboard, grab my book and my husband knows don’t even speak to me when I’m in there. I created daily rituals, simple ones like make the bed everyday, declutter for 20 minutes and clean one room a day. As I get those down to habits it’s time to move on to daily exercise. We focus on self care not because we are selfish or vain but because we are no good to anyone else if we aren’t at our best. Now to be honest I fell off my routine but I’m getting back on track and my motto in life is it’s not the fall that defines you but the way you get back up, the reinvention.

What is your reinvention process?

How did you go through your loss and find a way to get through that?